Just a humorous video I have seen before and since I named this God's Trust Fall I felt it appropriate ha ha. Originally, I was going to speak on how God has been and is continuing to help me conquer my anger. But again, God really worked in me this past week through His Word and through the rebuke from a dear friend to show me how I had been working on not living in fear but now I was trying to control things. I ultimately was choosing not to fall into God's outstretched arms and instead trying to control aspects of my life. As I was rebuked I took it humbly and gratefully because I need people in my life who will tell me the hard things. As I started to evaluate myself I realized this has been a problem for a very, very long time.
Not only have I lived in fear for a while, but part of me was also choosing to try and control everything in my life. When I faced the unknown or any dilemma in my life I wanted to control the outcome, because I felt I knew what was best. Whether that be in relationships, at work or in just everyday life I have seen so many ways I have tried controlling the outcomes of situations and conversations, by my words and actions, and I am ashamed of myself. I see now how large of a problem this is in my life and it makes me sick to see how I hurt people that I cared about because I wanted to control everything. I have realized, I thought I knew better than everyone else. I had made myself a god in my own eyes because I felt what I thought was the best option no matter what. I lacked any humility and grace and I know this hurt many people over the years and I am so ashamed of my actions and words. This blatantly shows me my huge pride problem and reveals I love myself more than I love others.
I was also convicted because I was depending on others to show me/tell me who I was and I was trying to depend on them for joy and happiness and not in Christ. I was such a fool, I wanted others approval more than I desired God's approval. For years I have tried to depend on others to tell me who I am over and over again (compliment me or whatever) and that will never fill me! I desired affirmation beyond what is physically possible of any individual and didn't see that the only one who can affirm me in that way is Christ Himself only. Desiring affirmation in the right way from others is not wrong, but when that is what we are trying to draw our satisfaction and joy from that is sin and is not glorifying to God. I have corrupted myself and hurt others because I desired something that wasn't possible and I was blind to my sin. But no longer and only through God's grace and strength! God has convicted me and is changing me in these two areas and I am working every day to be transformed to be more like Christ.
God has shown me how I was refusing to leave the ledge and trust Him completely and fall into his arms. I was holding onto MY ledge with all my might because I was not giving Him complete control of my life. I was holding onto things that I desired that I believed God should give me or that He should answer my prayer. There were times when I felt God was ignoring me and wasn’t listening to me, I felt that He didn’t care about me and what was best for me. But that was because I was believing I knew what was best and had made myself equal to God. But what a terrible lie that was for me to believe. I wasn’t believing Truth and I was choosing to view and live my life on my terms. That is why we must read Truth from God’s word to remind us and re-teach us who God really is. God is a good and generous God, a God of true love, a God of patience and faithfulness, a God who is immutable (unchanging). His name is Jehovah Shammah (The Lord is There), Jehovah Shalom (The Lord is Peace), Jehovah Rapha (The Lord Who Heals You), Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide) and that’s a few of His names.
This is the God who wants to hear from me because He loves me. Here cares about me, His child, more than I can even fathom. In his book Fear Not, Rand Hummel says, “If you think God is not listening to your requests, don’t faint, don’t lose heart; God is listening and wanting you to demonstrate your trust in Him by your continual asking. Every time you ask God for anything, you are evidencing faith in your heart. It is the faith that pleases God. God inspired Luke to include this parable (Luke 18) in his Gospel to keep us from losing heart. God is pleased with persistent, continual faith.” This is the faith I am choosing to have today and going forward.
Does that mean I should pray about everything, sharing my desires and asking him to work in situations and expecting Him to work? Yes. Does that mean God will work how I want? No. And that’s the rub, because at that exact point I have to be satisfied with whatever God decides and that is where I have to let go of MY ledge and fall into His arms completely trusting Him. Everything within me screams for me to not let go, because I have such strong desires for certain prayers I want answered and I want what I want, but ultimately I have to be completely ok with His decision because He knows best and I do not. Does that mean He will not answer my prayer? No. He very well could and I am praying He does every day. But, regardless of how He works, I have to be completely satisfied in Christ no matter the outcome.
That is God’s Trust Fall. Sadly, so many times we as believers continue to hold onto our ledge. I know you have your own ledge and everyone’s is different and we hold onto things and people in our lives like I did because that is what we desire. But as a true believer in Christ that has no place in my life or yours. Will I struggle with it every day? Yes, because I am a sinner and so are you. Can I overcome this sin by the grace and power of God? YES! And so can you! But I have to prepare myself every day to fight and sacrifice for Christ. I am no super Christian and I DON’T have it all together, but I am striving every day to be the man God wants me to be. I am learning still, but for the most part I know who I am in Christ. Sure, we will all struggle with insecurities at times, but we must take that back to Christ and who He is.
Be of Good Courage, God knows what is best and you don’t! It’s true, and once we can get to know our God and trust Him you can depend on Him fully too. However, you can’t trust someone you don’t know or spend time with. If you struggle with trusting people, you must first be able to FULLY trust a loving God who already knows you and wants to have a personal relationship with you. Get to know Him first and trust Him COMPLETELY, in EVERY area. “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7) Keep bringing your desires, your cares and your requests to God. But just like me, we have to be completely satisfied in Christ and what He decides to do.
There may be individuals you have hurt by your desire for control or depending on them for things they couldn't physically fulfill. First, ask and claim God's forgiveness and then ask for their forgiveness by confessing & forsaking your sin. Work every day to earn their trust back. Have no agenda, instead strive to be the best brother or sister in Christ you can be to that family member or friend or whoever it is and live out what God has changed in you every day. Actions speak louder than words. Strive to change for God and God alone. If we change for people it will never last, look to your Savior and change for Him. Never give up Hope, keep striving to grow every day because as a believer our God is Hope! “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” – Romans 15:13
Here is a song of encouragement I hope you will listen to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmh3yvmzXs
In Christ,
Mark Cannon
Ps. 27:14
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